In marriage, fighting can’t be about winning; it must be about resolution. In business, caring for a customer means helping to solve their problem. When we truly care about the customer, and want to keep their business, we work to resolve the conflict to their satisfaction. Conflicts with our spouse are no different.
Winning the argument is never the goal. Nothing is more important than staying together and staying in love. To “live in love,” we have to commit to hearing and believing their side of the story. No one ever feels like a villain in their own story. Nobody involved in a disagreement ever thinks they are wrong. The challenge we face in marriage is not proving our spouse wrong, but reaching an understanding of how they may be right. Book 6 helps us do that by showing how to focus on our partner’s point of view.
This caring skill counters anger and tempers our emotions to open a clearer path to resolution. It is more difficult to remain angry with someone when we feel empathy for them. We will also explore John Gottman’s theories about how arguments begin and how to nip them in the bud, before they rage out of control.